Depressed again

I am giving the feeling that I write only sad stuff or only when I am depressed. Not true...well maybe. When happy, I have better things on my plate. Anyways I have been depressed a bit too often nowadays. So I feel its better if I make a note here every time just to see why and what is affecting me.
My exams are going on. Of course they are not going well. So yes I was in a not great mood after the paper. But my mood was bad even before the paper. Yesterday I was kind of aloof and alone like I do when not in the mood. The reason for that...mmmm....I guess everyone expects to be treated well. And I am the kind who can do without it. On FIRO-B, my WA and WI scores are zero!!! Yes Zilch! I am inert to these things. But even if you are the kind not to be affected by such things, everyone has a threshold. The string can only be stretch so far. It will snap some time or the other.
Just that the snapping is taking place too often nowadays.

I wanna read!

I used to read. I have always been a sporadic reader. At times I kept reading book after book, other times I didn't touch book for months together. To think of it, I have read 1 book in the last year. And that too for academic purposes. It was great book "Biography of AD Shroff by Sucheta Dalal". But its too little. I really should be doing more of it. And I will...from next month....

I am motivated by this book that has won the Prize. "The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga". I am sure it will be a great read and very similar to what I think of the current Indian scenario. I don't want to rant here before I read the book. Will save it for when I am done with the book.

Till then I will get back to my schedule of sleep, striving to study, striving to maintain a balance between football, gym and of course booze.

Sad Times

Sad times indeed.
At this moment of time, I can't see anything going good for me anywhere. Be it personal, professional, global..its mayhem everywhere. Its during times like these that a person starts going into his shell. He tries to avoid company, stay away from those that he should actually be closer to. Its friends after all that always want to be with you in your tough times. Its just what friends take pride in.
And a person does exactly the opposite. He stays alone. If he spends time with someone, its people who he is not very close to. Why does a person does so?
He is mature enough to know that his friends will make him feel better. Its them who he can speak to, he can open his heart out to.

Maybe that's the problem. The friend will expect you to open up. And it may just be the thing you don't want to do. Whatever the reason may be...

Is there any merit in doing do? Will crying your heart out be better or just withdrawing into a shell? That would be up for discussion another day. Or maybe we can give the universal solution to that "It depends..". Yes of course, it depends. How can the same solution be applicable all the time?

For now, I am withdrawing into my shell. And it looks like it will be a long long hibernation for me.